Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
