i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
