Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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