don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
