Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
smell my finger.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
