I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
