You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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