halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
