I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
