his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
