Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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