youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
