Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
