Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
