that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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