I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
