There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
