based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
