Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
