im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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