Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
