Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
