I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
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