3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
