You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
