I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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