All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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