Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
