if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
