We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
