Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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