What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
