when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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