with your own penis?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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