Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
