sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
