well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
