we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
