So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
