her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
