is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
