i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
