Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
