he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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