I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
