You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just want nice things and good sex
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
