he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My vagina just recognized that song.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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