So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize
