were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize