bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i think my cat just said my name.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
