her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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