I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Liz is crying about burritos again.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize