But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i will never coherently bang her
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
