i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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