dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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