what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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