Don't make out with my wife yet
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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