she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
