it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
