i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
