I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
