I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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