in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
