I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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