he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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