did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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