if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
