question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
