I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
