dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
