shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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