she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
