It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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