closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
