apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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