I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
In America we eat man semen.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
