Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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