I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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