Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
