oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
