so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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